i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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