why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So many bounce houses so little time
porn star boner night. come get it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
