She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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