Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
