I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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