now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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