U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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