hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Someone shattered a urinal.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Randomize
