can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
