just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
