Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
