I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
