Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
