Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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