hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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