yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
