What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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