i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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