I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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