Don't make out with my wife yet
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
