Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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