My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
