and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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