Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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