did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's blow job season.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
