So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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