i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
