What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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