Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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