turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize