I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
