she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
