dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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