did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
