Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
