The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You made out with two different species that night
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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