dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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