why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
