she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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