Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
