So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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