Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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