If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
