I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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