We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
