If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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