I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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