Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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