i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
