Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
