After last night, I could never be a politician.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
