Its about making memories worth repressing
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
