Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
