Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
