I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
