Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
