I wanna passion pit in your ass
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I need a hoe opinion
go on
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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