ugly people sure do ruin things
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
