I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
