If that was your dad, he is hot
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
